Why did the Mets have to resign Oliver Perez? Everytime he takes the mound, I get a horrible feeling, kind of like the feeling a get after going to a Chinese buffet, and then washing it down with a galloon of milk... Here are ten things I hate about Oliver Perez.
1. I hate the stupid sideburn/chops he was sporting last year - even though they are gone now, it still bothers me. You are not Elvis.
2. I hate the way he jumps over the base line on the way back to the dugout. I understand the whole superstition thing, but it isn't working - you aren't pitching well.
3. I hate the way you drop down to pitch from the side, even though it never works - really, it never works. Listen to your pitching coach.
4. I hate the way he can never toss an easy inning - it seems like he has thrown a token walk to keep things interesting.
5. I hate the way he can walk half a dozen batters in a game - seriously, why is he kept in this long?
6. I hate having to hear every analyst talk about his "wicked stuff." Where is it? You mean the stuff that is a couple of feet of the plate... Yeah, that's wicked.
7. I hate that he can never seem to bunt...
8. I hate that the Mets gave up Xavier Nady to get him - I understand it was an emergency situation, but he was 2-10, with a 6+ ERA!!!
9. I hate that the Mets won't sign Pedro, because he is too risky, and might not be worth the money, but they signed Oliver Perez, who is risk every time he touches the ball, and they signed him for more money and more years...
10. I hate the Yahoo fantasy league somehow drafted him for me because I couldn't be online during draft time. What are the chances? Why me? Why now?
His outstanding performance tonight dropped his ERA from 7.84 to 7.80 - that's championship baseball...
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Oliver Perez, I am sure he is a nice guy. That doesn't make him a good pitcher though.
What do you hate about Oliver Perez? Please tell me in the comments.
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